lostcauses-noregrets:

This is a belated birthday ficlet for dear @valisi-clark.  Sorry it’s little late hunny.

Warning for breathplay.  Don’t try this at home kids. 

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Levi is losing it.  

He’s coming apart under Erwin’s hands, the weight of his body, the heat of his gaze.  The last shreds of his self control are slipping through his fingers as they flex and grasp at Erwin’s sweat slick back.  The urgent need drives them on, frantic, hungry, impatient for relief and release.

Erwin is thrusting hard and heavy, sweat running off him. Levi whining beneath him, cursing for more, fuck more, please, harder, fuck harder you piece of shit.  He wants this to last forever, this perfect punishing rhythm of heat and weight and want.  But it’s too fast, too hot, too hurried.  And Levi realises too late that he can’t control it, he tries to pull back, to stop the pressure building, but he’s cresting too fast.  

“Erwin…fuck, Erwin…” he gasps, wrecked and desperate.  He knows what he needs, what he wants, but he can’t form the words.  There’s no need.  Erwin hears him.  He’s always attentive, always listening, even when he sheds his masks and drops his defences, nothing slips his notice. Erwin hears the unspoken plea and responds.

“Shhhh Levi…breathe. Be good for me.”

Then his hand closes around Levi’s neck.  There’s a moment of perfect stillness when everything stops.  The noise in Levi’s head, the punishing desperation, it all stops in an instant and everything is thrown into sharp focus. The heat of Erwin’s body, the piercing blue of his eyes, the fingers that curl round the corded muscle of his neck.  

Tight.  Tighter.

Levi sucks down a shallow breath, tilts his head, arching back to bear his throat. The ultimate gesture of trust given and received.  The weight of Erwin’s hand increases.  Just enough to make the back of Levi’s nose tingle.  Just enough to keep him present.  All attention focused on Erwin, only on Erwin. There’s no threat, no trace of cruelty or violence.  But there is power and control.  Erwin does not need to threaten.  Erwin commands.  He commands and he invites submission.

It’s been a long road, but Levi submits willingly.  Relinquishes it all to Erwin’s command.  All that fearsome pride and power, all that strength, that desperate will to live and fight.  He surrenders it all to Erwin as callused ink stained fingers close round his throat.

Tight.  Tighter.

Erwin’s moving again now building up the rhythm, keeping the pressure steady around Levi’s neck, the crook of his thumb slotted neatly under Levi’s chin, palm bearing down on his throat, fingers curling into nerve and sinew.

The pressure behind Levi’s nose is building, the world growing hazy at the edges, fading out until nothing exists except Erwin.  Erwin’s hand, Erwin’s heat, Erwin’s command.

“Now. Come for me now Levi.”

Levi comes, mouth falling open in a silent scream, as the heat and pressure overwhelm him and the world whites out.

~~

“Come back.  Levi, come back now.”

Levi follows the voice back through the haze, the silken thread of command drawing him up to the surface.  

He comes too gasping, eyes blown wide.  

“Breathe Levi.  Breathe for me.  Breath slow.”

Levi breathes in a long slow breath, the rush of oxygen making his head spin.

Erwin lifts his hand, draws away, but Levi catches him by the wrist.

“Not yet.”  

Erwin smiles, and replaces his hand, settling it under Levi’s chin, lets it rest there, light as a promise.

It’s in these moments, only in those moments, that Levi knows perfect peace, the relief of surrender, of letting go.  Sometimes he wonders if this is what death feels like.  Like rest, relief, like trust.

Erwin places a single kiss on his forehead.  Levi closes his eyes and rests.